What We'll Do For Babe #2 (Top 10 Baby List)

Heeeyyyyy all! It's been a bit, right? We've been busy these past 18 months. Not only have we been raising a tiny human, but we've been working to turn this rancher into a home that fits our family of 3. Er... family of 4! The projects certainly haven't stopped around here, and I still plan to post updates one day... stay tuned?

Anyway, I wanted to share a little glimpse into life with baby and how we're planning for babe #2.

Baby #1 is a life-changer. You don’t know what you need, or what your baby will be like, or what your baby will actually use so it’s very easy to go overboard with the registry scanner at those baby stores. Over time though, all parents will learn what works best for them and their baby, and most will find that they can survive just fine with out baby knee pads (yeah, that’s a thing). With baby #1, our goal was to only register for and purchase what we absolutely needed with a few wants (like a pricey play mat). But then family and friends started buying up all kinds of cute little knick knacks and we were up to our eyeballs in bibs, toys and cotton baby mits.

We feel like we have a good grip on parenthood now, and what works best for our lifestyle (famous last words??). And that means not being afraid to go through toys and gear regularly to evaluate if they serve us well. For example, I had accumulated three baby carriers (3). I have now sold all three, and am replacing those with just ONE carrier that works great for every stage of baby/toddlerhood and fits both me and my husband. That’s one of my many learn-as-I-go things… BTW, adding yourself to a local M2M sale site on Facebook will make finding a home for gently used items really easy!

We’ve pared down our baby items significantly now that we know what we will use/not use. And what we use daily serves us well. Granted, I’ve heard that what works for baby #1 won’t necessarily work for baby #2, so maybe we’re in for a little surprise? I’ll update in 12 months.

I compiled a list of our top 10 favorite items that we use and love and what we plan to re-use for babe 2.0 - that's the first portion of this post. The second portion includes a list of 10 items that we kicked to the curb. However, just because these items don't work for us, doesn't mean they won't work for you! Take it with a grain of salt ;) 

THINGS WE'LL USE/RE-USE FOR BABE #2

1. Hatch Baby Rest - We used a standard sound machine for the first 17-months of our toddler's life and it was well-used! It wasn’t fancy, but it got the job done. We found a sound machine to be a necessary item in our house to calm a tired baby and to drown out any loud noises. We will definitely be using a sound machine again. But, our needs have expanded with a toddler. We wanted to introduce our toddler to an “okay-to-wake” light (he’s an early riser), but we didn’t want to add another device to his room. Then we found this new, smart sound machine. The Hatch Baby Rest is a night light, sound machine, and okay-to-wake device in one. It can be controlled via smartphone, has multiple sound options, multiple color options, and can be set on a schedule to let your child (and your caregivers) know when it’s quiet time, nap time, bed time, and when it’s okay-to-wake. We ordered one for our toddler to test it out. We *love* it, and have added another Hatch Baby Rest on our must-have list for 2.0.  

2. City Mini Stroller - It should be required that parents don’t register for a stroller until they have a child to put in it. We already have a stroller collection, so I feel like I can talk about the pros and cons of these expensive contraptions. We LOVE our Baby Jogger City Mini GT. This stroller is the best ever, and I have only one, teeny-tiny complaint about it. It’s compact (in terms of full-size strollers), fits the infant carrier, can be folded with one hand, and lifted with one arm, can tear through any off-balanced terrain, the seat lays almost flat (good for diaper changes on the go) and can be stored in the trunk of my car with out folding down the third-row seat (with room to spare). My one complaint is that the seat has quite a recline even in the up position. I didn’t realize how great my stroller was so I ALSO purchased a travel system that expands to fit two little ones. The thing is a monster. It’s huge, and it takes up so much space, it needs two hands to open and close and has made me love my City Mini that much more. Here’s my suggestion to new moms… Go to the store and try them out. Add 20 pounds to the stroller and push it around, push it with one hand, then put that 20 lb flour sack on your hip and fold the stroller and un-fold it. Sure, you can buy the fancy stroller (because strollers are status symbols). Whatever. My advice is to get the bad ass stroller that you can actually live with. We will stick with using mainly the City Mini because it’s so functional, and it’ll be easier to wear kiddo #2 for the first 6 months while we push our toddler in the stroller. *GT model is not necessary. We like to hike, and Justin is a runner, so we thought the stroller with suspension would be a good option for us. The regular City Mini would work perfectly fine for a normal-use family. Oh yeah, and I learned that you don't take a stroller on a hike anyway! 

3.  Tula Free-to-Grow Carrier - I went through a few carriers and ended up selling the ones that didn’t work for me. There are so many carriers out there now if you like to wear your baby. Note: wearing the babe in the early days will allow you to get shit stuff done when you have a babe who won’t nap unless he’s in your arms. I still wear my toddler if he won't let me put him down. This lets me actually make dinner and keep the kid happy.

•  Boba Wrap Carrier – So.Much.Fabric. It would take a bit of time to wrap this thing up, through, and around, and I had a boatload of leftover fabric hanging from my hip. This wasn’t my jam, so I sold this… and bought...
• K’Tan - The K’Tan is basically like a double infinity scarf that is sized like clothing. It is so much easier to slip your arms through and pop baby in. This was a game-changer. I stopped carrying baby in the infant car seat, and started using the K’tan because I could quickly get it on and pop baby in. Baby’s happy because they’re snuggled up against mom, and mom’s happy because she can shop for a full, uninterrupted hour at Target. But then, Dad wants to wear baby and the K’tan is designed to fit only me (I’m size XS, and Dad isn’t)… so enter the
• Ergo 360 – We switched to The Ergo when baby was 5+ months. We can easily switch between mom carry and dad carry. Our little one never liked facing out anyway, so we don’t really need the 360 feature.  Note: You can use the 360 from birth-toddlerhood, but it requires an additional purchase of the infant insert (which is bulky and HOT) But I’m so over having multiple carriers. So… we upgraded AGAIN.
• TULA Free-to-Grow – the angels are singing for all the baby-wearing parents. This is a recent release, and oh-so-smart design. The design is for babies and toddlers from 7-45 lbs. No infant insert– just switch up the snap design (takes 20 seconds) and you’re able to switch your carrier to fit either infant or toddler, and fit either mom or dad. HALLELUAH! Consider all my other carriers SOLD. It’s about the same price as the Ergo 360 – AND requires no additional purchases (unless, of course, you need matching chew pads and paci clips)

4. Dr. Brown’s Glass Bottles - I purchased 3 - 5 oz Dr. Brown’s glass bottles and they still serve us perfectly today (our first never drank more than 5 oz of breastmilk at each meal. He still gets about 5 oz of Almond Milk for morning, nap and bedtime). In addition, we only used the level 1 nipple flow until about 12 months. I had read that a breastfed baby may start to prefer the faster flow of the bottle and begin to refuse the breast. I can’t speak to the latter, but I never had issues with this. FYI - glass bottles will also slow the flow. We still uses the same bottles for his milk, but we switched to a transition silicone sippy spout (by Dr. Browns). I hand-wash the bottles so the 3 bottles work great for us. I had a different set of bottles I used for pumping fresh milk (plastic Medela bottles that came with the pump). I would immediately transfer the milk to either a glass bottle or a storage bag. BM sticks like glue to plastic bottles so I didn’t like storing the milk in the plastic. BM doesn't stick to glass like it does plastic. 

5. Fisher Price Rock-and-Play - I really didn’t want to use one of these. But, my baby had other plans. This thing ended up being our life line for the first few months. It was lightweight and easy enough to move room to room that I could pull it in the bathroom (so I could shower), drag it into the kitchen, and place it next to the couch so I could sneak in a daytime nap.

6. IKEA ANTILOP Highchair - This is one of my favorite baby purchases, hands down. It’s practical, clean-lined, and super easy to clean. No fuss or frills about it. And the best part is that it’s <$20 and it kicks the butt of any highchair on the market. We keep this in our sitting room/kitchen area for breakfast and lunch.  The thing still looks brand new after daily use. We use a separate clip-on chair for dinner time so he’s at the table with us (Phil and Ted’s Lobster Chair – it’s a deep seat for baby and lets them enjoy being at the table with family. We also take this along with us when we travel).

7. Silicone Feeding:

• EZPZ Happy Mats: These little mats are such a great design. It’s designed to suction to a flat surface so baby can’t fling their meal across the room. Our toddler quickly learned how to remove the suction, but it still works wonders for us. We only have two, one for the diaper bag and one for home. They clean up easily, portions out his food, and we don’t have any other meal dishes.
• Squeasy Snacker Reusable Food Pouch: It took me a few fails before I finally found these. These reusable squeeze bottles are super easy to clean (a wide neck so a bottle brush can get into it), they don’t leak/spill,  they are effortless to fill and great for little hands. We fill this with yogurt, applesauce, and finely-pureed smoothies. This also saves us some cash on groceries because we buy the quart-sized applesauce and yogurts rather than the single-portion sizes. (I added Chia seeds to yogurt one day, and the Chia wouldn’t go through the filter. Purees must be finely pureed, or you can remove the silicone gasket but this will make the Squeasy more vulnerable to spilling)
• Silicone Feeding Bibs: We own two bibs. Two. One for home, and one for the diaper bag. They wash up or wipe down so quick and easily that we have no need for extra bibs. Why do they even make other kinds??

8. My Breast Friend Nursing Pillow – This thing was amazing in the early days. I loved the firm memory-foam material so baby doesn’t slip between pillow and boob, and it was nice to be able to clip the pillow around me. If I needed to get up or adjust, the pillow came with me (and so did baby). I strapped this on and could walk around while nursing. I’m assuming I’ll need to get up more often this time around (aka, chasing toddler), so I’ll be utilizing this again! You’ll need the little back support it provides too! Eventually you’ll be vacuuming while nursing your baby and won’t need this anymore… but it’s a must-have for those first few months.

9. Zutano Baby Booties - This was a late addition to our baby arsenal. Socks just didn’t cut it. They would fall off and one would always disappear. These cozy little booties keep those little toes warm and snap around baby’s ankle (with a variety of snaps for sizing) – they hold up really well to frequent washing, too. Once we discovered these, we rarely used socks (and we only owned one set in each size). Downside: they’re pricey, and the sizing only goes up to 18 months.

10. NoseFrieda Snot Sucker – Our first born would constantly get breastmilk in his nose as a newbie and it would make his breathing sound rattled. We used this from the very beginning to clear his nasal passages. And still today (more boogers, less milk). Except now we need 5 people to hold down a squirmy toddler. The Snot Sucker can be cleaned effectively and you can see all the gunk being sucked out. This and a bottle of saline spray is all you need for those congested babies.


We are re-using many of these items that we used for our first. But, because my son is still using some items (like his sound machine and humidifier), or maybe we need some disposable items (like diapers, and a pacifier) we created a list of items we plan to purchase for 2.0. I made a Amazon registry to keep track of the items we need. Not because we are having a shower (we're not), but because we will get a "registry completion" discount to purchase the items on our list (a little trick I learned). And, when my mom gets the urge to buy the baby an outfit that we don't need, I might suggest she reference this list instead. While I feel like giving someone a list is setting an expectation for them to buy for the baby (and I hate that) it will give our loved ones the assurance that this is what we really need and will really use. 

THINGS WE WON'T USE OR DO FOR BABE #2

Call me a hater... but these are 10 items that we found to not work with our lifestyle, so we also don't plan to use them with baby #2. Warning, number 6 will probably stir up some drama. 

1. Bottle Warmer - Bottle Warmers are (apparently) not magic. We used one for a while, but I didn't religiously check the water level.  Once the water level is low, the bottle warmer becomes completely useless. But, of course, you won't notice until 5 minutes have passed and you think you're pulling a warm bottle from the machine. We eventually stopped using this and microwaved a bowl of water, then placed the bottle in the warm bowl of water for a few minutes. Took the same amount of time, and removed the extra clutter of the bottle warmer from my countertop. 

2. Baby Swing - I bought a mamaroo secondhand when I was pregnant. We used it a total of one time. We never used a swing because I didn’t want my baby to get used to sleeping with motion. It was fine, he survived, and I was happy to not have a big baby item taking up my floor space.

3. Bumbo Seat – I bought one secondhand for my first-born… and I’m so glad I only paid $5 for it. I have already passed it on to a friend. My 6-month-old was sitting up unassisted and he didn't need a special seat to teach him that. 

4. Drool Bibs - Wait… we’re not using these? Let me explain. We got a lot of bibs as gifts. But our first wasn’t a drooler or a spitter-upper, so we rarely used them. For us, the cute ones were just an accessory rather than a drool catcher. We’ll keep a few bibs around just in case this little one is more leaky, but we’ll definitely be reducing our inventory.

5. Shopping Cart Cover - While I think these are ridiculous, I know plenty of moms who refuse to put their kiddo in a cart/highchair with out one of these. I know myself, and I know that I would never carry this bulky item around from store to store. I do have this infant seat cover that is multifunctional and can be used as a shopping cart cover. Full disclosure - I never used it as a shopping cart or high chair cover, but it worked great as a infant seat cover. I keep a little dispenser of antibacterial wipes in the diaper bag and wipe down surfaces rather than carry an additional item. It takes us less space, and I'm just not the mom to worry about my kiddo having contact with human bacteria. My toddler is now 18-months-old, has sat in many carts and highchairs (and probably chewed on his fair share) and the kid has been sick for a total of 24-hours in his time earth side.

6. Nursing Covers - I get it… breastfeeding for the first few times in public can be intimidating as hell. But then, your kid will eventually not like their face covered. Ditch the covers, mama, and help advocate for all the future moms who will breastfeed in public. Be strong and positive in your convictions. You are feeding your child. And if someone doesn’t like it they don’t have to look. If you want some coverage anything will work, like a blanket you already carry with you, a scarf you may already be wearing or the cloth napkin at a restaurant. Your babe will love the little game of peek-a-boo ;)

7. Infant Socks – There isn’t one baby item I dislike more than those teeny baby socks that slip off infant feet. Disclaimer: once baby is in shoes, socks are necessary. It’s just on those teeny baby toes that I say kick them to the curb. We used the Zutano Baby Booties for our pre-walker and loved them.

8. Hooded/Cutesy Towels – There's no reason to have a special towel for a baby. We like the naturally anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, anti-microbial, and quick-drying feature of these. We aren’t a wash-the-towel-after-every-use family, so we only have 3 towels for our little one. I have 2 more towels on our wishlist for babe #2. And these should last us years to come.

9. Bath Thermometer - My wrist does a really great job of telling me the temperature of bath water. It took my dog chewing up the cutesy bath thermometer to make me use my wrist rather than the thermometer. We never replaced it, and we don't plan to. 

10. Cabinet Latches – our parenting philosophy is that we want our son to explore and be safe while doing it. So, instead of latching every cabinet and drawer, we just moved the dangerous stuff out of reach and kept the safe stuff below. We have always allowed our son to explore the cabinets and have creative play with the contents. At 18-months, he no longer has much interest in them. In fact, the only baby proofing in our home is one gate at the top of our basement stairs, and one cabinet latched (cleaning supply cabinet). Disclosure: We updated all of our electrical outlets to the Tamper-Resistant style. I still recommend either updating to tamper resistant outlets, or plugging in those little caps. 

OTHER FAVORITES - TRIED AND TRUE

Diapering

- Munchkin Premium Step Pail 

- Fawn Design Diaper Bag A back-pack style diaper bag is essential when you're wearing baby. This is functional and stylish.

Activity

- Jolly Jumper

Feeding

- Aden & Anais Burpy Bibs

- Silicone Baby Food Freezer Tray

- GrabEase Utensils 

- Stainless Steel Munchkin 360 Cup

- Stainless Steel Munchkin Snack Cup

Bathtime

- Primo EuroBath 

- Muslin Washcloths 
- Muslin Bathtowels

Misc. 

- ITzbeen

- hOme Warm/Cool Mist Humidifier and Diffuser

Now it's your turn. What were your absolute favorite new-human items that served you well? Let us know in the comments. 

Archer's Birth Story - February 3, 2016

I'm taking a step away from regular blog updates today to share Archie's Birth Story. I love reading and hearing about other mom's birth stories. If you like reading birth stories, then please keep reading! If not...this post isn't for you.

As a new expectant mom, I found that everyone wanted to share their "pain" of birth... especially if it's a bad one! The negativity I received was incredible, even after I mentioned we were planning for a natural birth. So here I am to tell you a positive birth story. Our birth was a beautiful journey that went better than I could have hoped for. It was in the moments following the birth that the doctors discovered some serious complications (with me) that would require a lot of postpartum care. While it was serious, I had an amazing team of doctors that would guide me every step of the way. I would go through it a hundred times over to have my little guy though (it's crazy what those mom-hormones can do!)

_________________________________ 

Well before I was ever pregnant I knew I wanted to birth my babies naturally. Which, if you’ve gone through labor, is much easier said than done. My theory was that our female bodies were built to birth; it’s a normal and natural process. I knew I wanted a natural experience, but I also wanted the best birth experience I could get. And I knew I had to prepare for that day just like my husband prepares to run his marathons. My pregnancy was, for the  most part, pretty straight forward. I was sick through week 15, but didn't have any crazy complications. What I did experience, though, were some frightening panic attacks that had me concerned with how I would handle active labor. We researched several different natural birth methods and found HypnoBirthing to be the best fit (the idea of self-hypnosis to create a calm and gentle birth). I knew the power of relaxation, but I needed to learn the tools and I needed Justin on board. We attended the 5-week PeacefulBirthing education class. I read the book, listened to the relaxation tracks religiously, and coached Justin on what I needed from him. In the end, I got a better birth than I could have imagined. There was no screaming or cursing. There were dim lights, candles flickering, quiet voices, and relaxation affirmations playing over a Bluetooth speaker. I didn’t have IV lines attached to me or monitors beeping away at my side. I trusted both my body and the baby to know just what to do – and guess what...they did! I would have nurses, midwives, and lactation consultants visit throughout the days following Archie’s birth just to tell me how beautiful our birth was. This really was the most incredible journey. And we hope to do it again one day! 

Here’s our story…     

In the late morning of Wednesday, February 3^rd I was working on the computer in my home office when I started to feel waves of mild cramping. I had similar surges the night before which had stalled several hours later, so I decided that I should keep busy to help labor progress. I met some girlfriends for lunch and spent the afternoon cleaning the house (rearranging furniture, ha!). Although I kept myself busy during this stage, I still practiced my slow breaths with each and every surge. 

Justin was aware of the contractions that were coming the night before, but I assured him that it was no cause for alarm so he went on his way to work. I texted him when the surges returned and kept him updated throughout the day.

"I'm at lunch with the girls, contractions are medium intensity and about 7 minutes apart. But Megan's a nurse and Anne just gave birth... I've got a good team just in case!"

I called my mom after I returned home from lunch and told her that "this was it", but assured her that it was still early and it could still be a while. My mom and her sisters had their babies really fast and she didn't want me being alone just in case. I swear she was in my driveway before I hung up the phone. 

By 3:00pm (while moving furniture and mopping the floors) the intensity of the surges increased to a point that made me realize this isn't going to slow down. The surges felt like moderate period cramps (very manageable) and now they were coming frequently at only 3-5 minutes apart. After some time of relaxing and breathing, one particularly strong surge had me call Justin and ask him to head home. I laid down to relax while he was on his way. Cramping came with each wave of surges and laying down became uncomfortable (it was putting a lot of pressure on my ribcage). I started to walk the house and would sway my hips back and forth during each surge; standing took that pressure off my ribs. I was still walking and talking, but watching me pause every few minutes during a surge had my mom on edge. She told me it was time to leave for the hospital she called Justin to tell him she was taking me in.

Nope. No way. I wasn’t ready to go to the hospital.

I pleaded for my mom to give me space and let me stay home. I had a plan. I didn’t need assistance yet. To give my mom some peace of mind I called into the Midwife’s office. It was 4:30pm and close to their closing time anyway. After explaining the frequency of surges to the nurse she advised me to go to the hospital right away. Writing this and looking back, I get it. Of course they wanted me in because of what it sounded like. But, I cried. I cried to that nurse so hard over the phone that I could barely talk. My midwife advised me to stay home until I saw the bloody show, and I wasn't that uncomfortable. I know how this goes... if I get to the hospital and I don't progress like they want then they'll induce me, and then things will slow, and they'll encourage a c-section. I've heard this story a million times. The nurse said that she was going to have the midwife on call contact me right away and we hung up.

I convinced Justin to just meet us at the house since I was waiting to hear from the midwife. He arrived home at 4:45pm, and even though I hadn’t heard from the midwife yet, Justin and my mom convinced me that it was time to go. Justin grabbed the bags, we said goodbye to my mom and drove to the hospital. Our drive was a short 15 minutes, but each surge I experienced while sitting in the upright position of the passenger seat was increasingly uncomfortable on my rib cage. I was looking forward to being back on my feet just as Justin pulled up to Labor & Delivery. He dropped me off and left to park the car. Check-in only took a minute, then I stood in the entrance for Justin to return. Here I am checking in and I’m not in horrible, writhing pain. I’m still walking and talking through every surge. Aren’t I supposed to be pushed up to L&D in a wheelchair? Justin walked through the door a few minutes later and we made our way up to triage. 

A nurse led us into Triage and asked me to change into a hospital gown. I was instructed to lay back on the hospital bed, then she hooked me up to a blood pressure cuff, fetal monitor, and a heart rate monitor. My surges immediately became sporadic. I watched the clock with each surge…10 minutes apart. 3 minutes apart. 8 minutes apart. Oh great. The nurse checked my progress and reported that I was dilated to 4cm and 100% thinned. She walked out of the room and left Justin and I for a few minutes.

Only 4cm???  I had been dilated 2.5-3cm and 50% thinned for the past 3+ weeks, so 4cm sounded horrible to me. I felt so defeated when the nurse came back into the room. They were admitting me. 

Before being sent to my labor room I was told that my platelet levels had dropped again. My blood platelet levels (blood clotters) have been low since my 32-week checkup and the levels dropped steadily throughout the past few weeks. They call this Thrombocytopenia (low platelets in pregnancy - something that might be rare, but not necessarily dangerous). My platelet level was now <80,000mcl (normal is between 150,000-450,000mcl), and I knew what this meant. I couldn’t have any pain meds, and most importantly to me... I couldn’t use the natural birthing suite. I was a little disappointed in this news, but I was happy to accept a room with a bathtub. The room we labored in would have no affect on our birth plan anyway.

By 6:15pm we were in our delivery room and our doula joined us. We went over our birth plan with the nurse and explained that we were practicing HypnoBirthing. The team was happy to oblige (we were at a great hospital that is very supportive of natural births and HypnoBirthing practices…dim lights, quiet voices, mother-directed pushing/breathing, laboring in various positions, etc). I just reminded the nurse and midwife that we did not know the sex of our baby and Justin was to make the announcement once the baby arrived.  

Although I wouldn’t have an IV line or fetal monitor throughout my entire labor, I was required to be monitored for the first 20 minutes of being admitted. After that, all lines were removed and baby was monitored intermittently by Doppler. I didn’t want fluids administered, but I would have to have a Hep-Lock because of my platelet levels (an IV port that would allow fluids/medications to be quickly administered if I need them). The nurse would rub the Doppler on my swollen belly and wrap the blood pressure cuff around my arm to check me and baby several times throughout my laboring. Neither disturbed my labor experience. In fact, I wasn’t even aware of being monitored once I was “in the zone”.  

No monitors and IV lines meant that I was free to roam and fully relax. Knowing what could be ahead, I just wanted to lay down and try to sleep. I turned off my phone, curled up on my side in bed with the peanut ball between my knees, closed my eyes, and tried to sleep. The lights were turned off (except for a small light in the entry of the room and the glare from the computer screen) and Justin set up the Bluetooth speaker to play the Birthing Affirmations track. There is only one 16-minute-long track that I like to relax to and this track would play on repeat throughout my labor … I’m sure everyone could recite it verbatim by the end of the night. After setting me up, Justin went to the cafeteria to grab himself dinner. The last time I ate was noon but I have no appetite. He brings me back a jello to snack on. This would be the last thing I would eat for 36 hours.

7:30pm - One hour after settling into our laboring room I was brought out of my relaxation by a sudden and intense downward pressure. I heard an audible pop and a massive gush of fluid soaked the bed. I was surprised and now frightened by this sudden sensation and I immediately began to tense up. Justin and our doula calmed me down and reminded me to breathe slowly,  release the tension in my jaw and shoulders. Okay, whatever... Just get me in the tub. The very next surge following the release of my membranes (water breaking) came with a pressure more intense than any surge I had felt up to this point. I remember finally thinking “sh*t, this just got real”. I wrapped my arms around Justin through the new sensation, breathing slowly and swaying side to side. I stepped into the tub and immediately felt relief. I reclined against the back of the bathtub and let my body fall limp. The relieving effects of the water was more than I imagined. Justin stayed at my side to hold my hand. He stroked my arm and guided me through each surge as it came and went. It was almost euphoric. I just listened to him and to the birthing affirmations.


8:15pm - My time in the warm bathwater brought me into a deeply relaxed state. I didn’t talk, I didn’t make a sound; I just focused on my breathing. Justin would later tell me that I looked so calm and relaxed while I was in the tub that it looked like I was sleeping. I labored in the warm water of the tub for 45 minutes before feeling a discomfort that made me switch positions. The discomfort again came on very suddenly and felt like something I no longer had any control of. It felt as if the baby had moved downward and the pressure increased significantly with each wave. I began to feel anxious, and shifted my body to a squatting position. I came out of my relaxed state as I switched positions through this new pressure. And I lost it. I couldn’t do this anymore. 

I asked. I begged. I pleaded for pain meds. ANYTHING. My breathing quickened and my muscles tensed. Our doula squatted to my level outside the tub and whispered slowly to me. She reminded me of my goals to labor without intervention and explained that the Nubain (the only pain medication I could have) won’t relieve all the sensations. I didn’t care. GIVE IT TO ME. I started to feel an incredible urge to bear down and push and I couldn't do it anymore. The doula and nurse seemed surprised by this news; I was 4cm only 2 hours before, and I’ve been so calm. I climbed out of the tub and back into bed so the midwife could check my progress.

I was fully dilated.

And it was too late for any pain medication.

I was surprised to hear that I made it. I remember reading about “transition” and wanting to quit was normal at this point. My request for drugs immediately became a fleeting thought. The baby was almost here and I can do this.

Each and every surge got me closer to holding my baby and I almost welcomed them after that thought. Almost. The urge to push was incredible. But I didn’t. I rested my back against the inclined hospital bed, my knees propped against pillows, and I became limp again. I lost all sense of time and slipped back into a hypnotic state. With each surge, I breathed in and on my exhale I visualized each breathe moving the baby downward. With each wave I could actually feel my uterus moving the baby down. Justin reminded me to BREATHE and would count backwards from 5 (a HypnoBirthing relaxation method), which would automatically make me relax each part of my body. The surges were coming one right after the other with little time to relax in between. On each surge I counted my inhales and exhales silently – this always helps me focus in yoga. For the next 90 minutes I breathed the baby down. I breathed the baby down. I am still in awe of that incredible sensation.

Justin and our doula were so encouraging. They told me that the baby was almost out. I remember opening my eyes for a split second to see the midwife and nurse sitting down watching me from across the room. The entire room was calm and relaxed. So calm that I was thinking…hello! I’m having a baby here! Does someone want to catch it? Soon after, the midwife called “the team” in and they asked Justin if he’d like to see the baby’s head. The head?! Oh my gosh… it’s almost here! I was really ready for the process to be over with and I wanted to meet my baby. I announced that I wanted to push. I beared down on the next surge. Pushing felt like such a release! Three pushes later and the baby was nearly out. On the fifth push I felt a brief burning sensation and then…an immediate release. I let out a huge sigh of relief. Our baby was finally here. 

Justin announced “it’s a boy!” and our baby was placed on my chest. He let out two cries. The time was 9:59pm.

Our birth was everything we wanted; it was calm, gentle, and beautiful. Not to mention, fast! Our family wasn’t waiting at the hospital and we didn’t announce we were in labor; we didn’t want that kind of pressure. Justin and I wanted this time to be ours before we had to share it with the world. And it was. I can’t even describe the feeling. I held our son for 45 minutes against my chest and Justin laid his hand on Archie’s back as we bonded together. Just the 3 of us. Justin and I held our son and marveled at the tiny, perfect little human we created.

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(I originally was not going to share the complications I experienced, but I received a lot of questions and messages. I didn’t want to scare anyone by initially sharing the details. What happened to me is rare. I’m definitely glad I was at the hospital so I received attention right away.)

I held our son and soaked in the overwhelming love I felt for my new family for 45 minutes. The midwife explained that my placenta was not detaching. We had already tried nursing, massaging, pushing, and Pitocin as a last resort. Nothing. The doctor was called in to assist and manually removed it (um... ouch!) and then.. I hemorrhaged (remember, my platelets, the blood clotters, were really low). I had torn a small amount and the doctor starting stitching me up. Well, those endorphins were wearing off and I was au natural... I was feeling everything. I was really uncomfortable and finally gave approval for pain medication to be administered. Yeah, it did NOTHING for the pain.

I was watching the doctors face and she looked calm, but confused. I had a lot of blood and it wasn't slowing. They ended up discovering that I had internal damage, something far too extreme for delivery room repair. I needed to be put under anesthesia so they could repair the internal damage and control this bleeding. They gave me a few minutes with my family. I handed Archie to the nurse so they could take his vitals and measure him (7 lb 2oz, 19.5 in. long), then he was wrapped in a blanket and handed to his dad.

Justin and I had only a minute together before I wheeled out. I kissed Justin and our baby and told them I would see them soon. I was wheeled down to the OR and prepped for surgery. It all happened in a matter of minutes. I looked over at my midwife, squeezed her hand and asked her to get me back to my family.

It was 4:00am by the time I was moved to a new room to settle in with my husband and new baby (I needed constant monitoring so I was moved to Antepartum rather than Postpartum to recover). I was finally feeling the pain from birth. Pain from surgery, pain from the early nursing days, and the pain of not being able to tend to my newborn myself. I was stuck in a bed, unable to move for 3 days. And the remaining 3 were difficult, but at least I could drag myself to the shower. Justin and Archie got me through those toughest days. I would need 2 blood transfusions, and 6 days in the hospital before they cleared me for discharge.

We spent 4 days at home, and I started to feel better but the heavy bleeding never slowed. We had a bit of a scare one night, so we phoned the on-call doctor and they immediately examined me. Every stitch I received in surgery had failed (once my blood finally clotted again, they believe it broke through the stitches). They immediately admitted me back to antepartum (so I could keep Archie with me) and scheduled another surgery. I went under one more time, and spent another 4 days in the hospital to recover. But this time, I left the hospital feeling better. I stopped taking pain medication shortly after surgery (I didn’t want Archie getting any amount in my breastmilk). I was very closely monitored. I had daily visits from a homecare nurse, and had to follow up with both the general surgeon and the obstetric surgeon on a weekly basis. The relaxation techniques I used throughout birth helped me even more in my 10 days in the hospital and the time it took me to fully recover. But, I also believe that the power of being a new mom can make a woman overcome any amount of pain.

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My birth team was the reason I was able to have the birth I wanted. Even though I felt well-prepared, I really couldn’t have done it without my husband and our doula. Justin was my rock the entire time and kept me calm and focused…he always brought me back to a zen state. He held my hand and guided me each and every step of the way. Our doula, Janice with Peaceful Birthing, was indispensable. Not only was Janice our educator, she was our advocate. She made sure I had water and snacks, that I wasn’t aware of any vital readings (which would have stressed me out), she remained positive and reminded me of my goals. 

I struggled with relaxation techniques while I was pregnant, and feared I wouldn’t be able to focus while I was in labor. Justin and I even questioned some of the births we watched. How could these women not feel the pain that we were taught to expect? I can honestly say that I never experienced pain throughout my birthing process; I only felt pressure. The pressure was very intense, but it’s not what I would consider pain. From my personal experience, I learned that a relaxed body truly can do what it’s supposed to very efficiently. Had I not practiced HypnoBirthing I would have been fearful of what my body was doing (birthing a baby!) and I definitely would have tensed up and felt an incredible amount of pain (especially after my water broke). If you have practiced yoga, then you probably already understand the power of the mind! Our experience with Peaceful Birthing made my birth something that I will always look back on and want to experience again and again.   

You can read more about HypnoBirthing by visiting the HypnoBirthing Institute. If you are interested in the educational class or hiring a doula, we would highly recommend reaching out to Peaceful Birthing.

If you are interested in HypnoBirthing, you can search YouTube for a variety of births using the method and make the decision for yourself!